I’m getting to that age when a lot of my friends who have been in long-term relationships are talking about settling down and having kids. Heck, some of them are already expecting. During this period of gestation, you can expect to see your newsfeed fill up with inspiring quotes about the miracle of life and how childbirth is this awesome experience that will change your life forever. Personally, I don’t buy it.
I don’t buy it because I’ve already experienced the so-called ‘miracle’ of childbirth by watching the birth of a baby giraffe, and it was pretty much the most upsettingly funny thing I’ve ever seen. The newborn just sort of dropped out the back end of its mother in a shower of blood and placenta, and staggered to its hooves, looking confused and mildly embarrassed to be there. Seeing it walk was like watching a gore-soaked basketball player attempt to figure skate, drunk, on all fours.
But while that footage managed to ruin childbirth for me forever, it only made me more intrigued by the habits of these animals. I’m not sure why, considering that it was such a gross sight. Maybe it’s their ungainly clumsiness that makes giraffes so endearing to a fellow klutz. So bearing my fondness for them in mind, you can imagine how excited I was by the prospect of April the giraffe’s lifestream; which has gained a lot of attention online lately.